AEW's "Timeless" Toni Storm Shares Her Healing Secrets

All Elite Wrestling’s “Timeless” Toni Storm at ringside, courtesy of AEW

It’s hard to imagine that there was ever a time when people took professional wrestling seriously, but all the old heels who worked in the ‘80s and earlier can tell stories of finding their car tires slashed and being spat on. As recently as 1982, wrestling fans in Memphis bought into actor Andy Kaufman’s heel persona so seriously that they sold out the Mid-South Coliseum to see Jerry “The King” Lawler teach him a lesson.

It helped that Kaufman didn’t break “kayfabe” or the illusion behind wrestling. He lorded the fact that he was from Hollywood over the fans, who he dismissed as hicks and rednecks, and declared himself the Intergender champion for wrestling women. Kaufman carried that persona over to appearances on Late Night with David Letterman and other programs, keeping the illusion alive.

AEW’s “Timeless” Toni Storm is not a toxic figure, unlike Kaufman’s act, but she too preserves kayfabe and presents the diva from Hollywood’s Golden Age to the public, including in interviews.

On Wednesday, AEW will broadcast AEW: Dynamite and tape AEW: Collision at the UNO Lakefront Arena, and I interviewed Storm and Harley Cameron for Nola.com about the importance of character in professional wrestling. Storm answered questions as a flim star who made the transition from black and white movies to professional wrestling, and all that character work meant that there was a lot of entertaining material that didn’t fit quite right in my story.

Here’s a transcript and audio recording of that interview. The sound is a bit rough since we spoke by phone. We talked just days after the AEW Dynasty pay per view, where Storm defeated the powerful Megan Bayne in a very physical match.

How are you this afternoon?

I am fabulous. A little bruised, a little beaten up, but fabulous as usual. 

You went through a big match with Megan Bayne on the weekend. Are you done with her?

I really hope I’m finished with Megan Bayne forever. For the rest of my life. I hope I don’t have to set foot in the ring with her ever again.

It was one of the hardest fights of my life. She’s made of muscle and she handled me like an infant and I wasn’t a fan of it. I survived her and just made it through, so I hope this is it. I pray.

You’re going to face the winner of the Owen Hart Cup. What are you thinking about as you look at the field of competitors?

To be honest, all the contestants of the tournament are a massive bunch of sloptarts. I’m better than all of them, so I’m ready to take on whoever gets thrown in my way, whoever that may be. No preference. Hopefully by the time we fight I’ll be healed from my Megan Bayne fiasco, and I’ll be ready to chew another face off. I look forward to it. 

How long does it take to recover from a match like the one you had with Megan Bayne?

Well, it depends on how many Cajun seafood boils I can get in me. It really comes down to that. If I don’t get that in, then I’m screwed. The time varies. It’s Wednesday now. The match was Sunday and I feel no improvement. I feel worse if anything. 

At the press conference after the match, you shared a saucy limerick with the press and Tony Khan. How do you think your love of poetry and wrestling come together?

The audience was enthralled. People were overjoyed. I had a great time, President Khan especially had a great time, and it was all a wonderful time for our late night scrums. I look forward to winning more matches on pay per views so that I can keep bringing the fresh, hot content. 

You’ve been through a couple of brutal matches with the Hollywood Ending and Megan Bayne. How do you prepare for these very physical matches?

That’s a good question. Again, these seafood boils are my lifeline. If I don’t have them, then I’m screwed. The good thing is that in New Orleans, if I’m booked to fight I’m in luck. I’m going to be absolutely unstoppable. That’s the long and short of my routine: How much seafood can I consume? 

Do you have seafood boils in Australia? 

Not quite like they do in New Orleans and Florida. They’ve got the goods shrimp-wise–prawns, they call them–but nothing quite like them Cajun boils.

What do they season seafood with when they boil it in Australia? 

It’s not as seasoned as I’d like. That’s why I moved in the first place. Still good. Fresh, good quality, but not covered in enough butter. 

Very few stars of the silver screen have been able to make the transition to wrestling as successfully as you have. How did you move from movies to AEW?

I’m not a one-trick pony. Not only do I have incredible acting skills, an incredible look–not only am I the total package but I’m also quite the athlete. On the physical side, I’m a fantastic fighter, so I thought, ‘This is going to work perfectly. Professional wrestling is the new game for me and I’ll be fantastic in this.’

I’m a born performer. A violent performer, if you will. Always good at the old action flicks. 

Do you do your own stunts?

I sure do, which is why I get booked for so many. I’m my own stunt man. Sometimes I’m my own writer. I’ve directed a few, and musical direction, I’m good at that as well. I’m really just the full package.

When you started, you advised people to keep their chins up, their tits out, and to watch out for the shoe. After all you’ve been through in the last year or so, has your advice changed?

No, it’s still standing with the chin up and the tits out. It has served me well, and if I’m not mistaken it has served the public quite well. People are inspired. The public are enthralled. They can’t get enough of it. They can’t get enough of chins and they can’t get enough of tits.